Well it's Thursday again, time for some more lamentations from Matt. Still no Pat. Sorry. When you have such genius running in your mind, its hard to explain it to common folk. That's why Pat hasn't written anything yet. He has to translate it for all us brain-dead, slack-jawed yokels. Last night I got done with work about 11:30 and I was walking to the parking ramp when I saw something that really made me think. A young man, assumably a college student, was walking back to the dorms with no coat on and singing at the top of his lungs. I assume he was intoxicated or high or just having a great time. The funniest thing was, he was by himself. No group trailing behind him or girlfriend acting embarrassed, just all by his lonesome. It made me laugh but it made me sad too. It reminded me of college when I would drunkenly walk down the street and sing or steal things or urinate weird places. I think that is pure joy. When you literally don't have a care in the world. Oh shit, I've gotta pee, that's ok, I can pee on this miniature windmill in this lady's yard. Problem solved. You know how you always see those scenes in movies where some guys are drinking and then they kind of grab eachother's shoulders and start singing. It looks like they couldn't get any happier no matter what. That is pure joy. Of course that scene usually leads into another scene with one of those guys getting killed by something, but whatever. When you have kids is it more joyful than drunken singing? I have a sneaking suspicion that it is close, maybe even tied, but kids are just a more socially acceptable form of joy. You can't send out a Christmas card of you and your buddies walking around drunk or high, smiling and laughing, with stories on the back of all the great times you had that year. But you can send out a card with forced pictures of you kids and all their accompishments. More socially accepted, but maybe not better. I think everyone should sing out loud as much as possible. I'm going to stop being so worried about what everyone else thinks about me and I'm going to belt out The Proclaimers "I would walk 5000 miles" when I feel its necessary. With how shitty a mood everyone has been in lately. I little singing might help.
Hey, if you've got a minute and want to cry, read this article from the one, the only, Bill Simmons (or The Sports Guy, as he is more readily known) http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/090122
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Thursday Bullshit
Well, those of you waiting for Pat to write a blog...keep waiting. I think he is still depressed by the loss of his laptop, RIP barely legal porn and music filled Macbook. I'm sure he's depressed that he lost all of his papers from school. Bummer for humanity. Just to let you all know, we have a new roommate!! His name is Malcolm and he is one bad-ass motherfucker. He even cleaned the kitchen yesterday. Malcolm 1, Pat 0. I don't miss Maury at all. Actually, I'm glad he's gone. Yoko can have him. Maury was like sex with a stripper, both are extremely over-rated and will get you crabs for sure. It's also not advisable to take either one of them home to meet your parents.
It's tax season again! What are you going to use your refund for? I'm just gonna let the government keep my money, they need it more than I do. Actually, I might use it to buy Pat a new computer so he can finally write a blog. You can also donate your refund to "things we've noticed". The upkeep and maintenence fees are killing us.
I had a wicked pee-shiver this morning, almost lost my aim it hit me so hard. I still don't know if girls get pee shivers? Can someone please clarify? I asked this five years ago to an entire campus of people and no one answered. WTF?
Anyone feel like we are in a huge lull for good music lately? What's the last top to bottom good CD you've listened to? Mike is gonna say "Death Magnetic" but I'm not so sure about that. Kanye's is rough in some spots, the new All American Rejects is a disappointment and I can't even make myself listen to Fall Out Boy. Buckcherry's new one also blew chunks. I know this is a very limited sampling of music but I don't hear anything good on the radio either. Any suggestions? Don't say "listen to Extreme, it will change your life" because it won't. I need new music that is good.
It's tax season again! What are you going to use your refund for? I'm just gonna let the government keep my money, they need it more than I do. Actually, I might use it to buy Pat a new computer so he can finally write a blog. You can also donate your refund to "things we've noticed". The upkeep and maintenence fees are killing us.
I had a wicked pee-shiver this morning, almost lost my aim it hit me so hard. I still don't know if girls get pee shivers? Can someone please clarify? I asked this five years ago to an entire campus of people and no one answered. WTF?
Anyone feel like we are in a huge lull for good music lately? What's the last top to bottom good CD you've listened to? Mike is gonna say "Death Magnetic" but I'm not so sure about that. Kanye's is rough in some spots, the new All American Rejects is a disappointment and I can't even make myself listen to Fall Out Boy. Buckcherry's new one also blew chunks. I know this is a very limited sampling of music but I don't hear anything good on the radio either. Any suggestions? Don't say "listen to Extreme, it will change your life" because it won't. I need new music that is good.
The Meaning of Life
What happens to people when they get it all? Do they forget all of the pain and hard work it took to get where they are? Does money fix old wounds? Or have they just learned to live with the pain? I think I'd like to stay poor. Not half-ways poor, all the way. Comfort breeds complacency and that in turn breeds crap. Some ot the worst things in the world are created when people have too much time on their hands. Like meth, the teletubbies, and half-assed music. Some people can keep the pain inside of themselves. They can keep the hate for all of the people who have done them wrong. I will never stop hating the people who have hurt me, an I don't care if it eats me alive. There are worse ways to die then that. In the end, what can I really hope to accomplish with my life anyways? Kids? Some money? The respect of my fellow man? That's all I need is two brats who don't respect me, money made on the backs of others, and two-faced hypocrites who smile to my face and stab me in the back as soon as I turn around. Maybe that's what happens when you get it all. You realize the things and people you have around you now could hold the shit of the people who loved you when you were nothing. I'd like to stay nothing...at least it's something.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Random thoughts for Thursday
Is it pointless to write stuff in a blog if no one reads it? I'm not talking about our blog, which will have hundreds of reads a day, but there has to be thousands of people that write blogs out there and no one reads it at all. Maybe it is therapeutic or something, like a diary of your lonely life. Ok, here are three questions from Chuck Klosterman's book Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs that I have been dying to get peoples answers for.
1. Let us assume you met a rudimentary magician. Let us assume he can do five simple tricks-he can pull a rabbit out of his hat, he can make a coin disappear, he can turn the ace of spades into the Joker card, and two others in a similar vein. These are his only tricks and he can't learn any more; he can only do these five. HOWEVER, it turns out he's doing these five tricks with real magic. It's not an illusion; he can actually conjure the bunny out of the ether and he can move the coin through space. He's legitimately magical, but extremely limited in scope and influence. Would this person be more impressive than Albert Einstein?
2. Let us assume that a fully grown, completely healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled to the ground while his head is held in place with thick rope. He is conscious and standing upright, but completely immobile. And let us assume that-for some reason-every political prisoner on earth (as cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in less than twenty minutes. You are allowed to wear steel toed boots. Would you attempt to do this?
3. Let us assume that there are two boxes on a table. In one box, there is a relatively normal turtle; in the other, Adolf Hitler's skull. You have to select one of these items for your home. If you select the turtle, you can't give it away and you have to keep it alive for two years; if either of these parameters are not met, you will be fined $999 by the state. If you select Hitler's skull, you are required to display it in a semi-prominent location in you living room for the same amount of time, although you will be paid a stipend of $120 per month for doing so. Display of the skull must be apolitical. Which option do you select?
1. Let us assume you met a rudimentary magician. Let us assume he can do five simple tricks-he can pull a rabbit out of his hat, he can make a coin disappear, he can turn the ace of spades into the Joker card, and two others in a similar vein. These are his only tricks and he can't learn any more; he can only do these five. HOWEVER, it turns out he's doing these five tricks with real magic. It's not an illusion; he can actually conjure the bunny out of the ether and he can move the coin through space. He's legitimately magical, but extremely limited in scope and influence. Would this person be more impressive than Albert Einstein?
2. Let us assume that a fully grown, completely healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled to the ground while his head is held in place with thick rope. He is conscious and standing upright, but completely immobile. And let us assume that-for some reason-every political prisoner on earth (as cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in less than twenty minutes. You are allowed to wear steel toed boots. Would you attempt to do this?
3. Let us assume that there are two boxes on a table. In one box, there is a relatively normal turtle; in the other, Adolf Hitler's skull. You have to select one of these items for your home. If you select the turtle, you can't give it away and you have to keep it alive for two years; if either of these parameters are not met, you will be fined $999 by the state. If you select Hitler's skull, you are required to display it in a semi-prominent location in you living room for the same amount of time, although you will be paid a stipend of $120 per month for doing so. Display of the skull must be apolitical. Which option do you select?
This is gonna rock!
Well, here it is. After much public demand and dozens of hunger strikes Pat and I have decided to bring back Things We've Noticed. Hopefully some of you remember our much maligned article that we wrote for the University Register way back when. It was edited horribly and they took out all of the cursing, but we had a great time writing it anyways. We had a pow-wow and decided that the world just isn't the same without us spewing forth our worthless thoughts on topics that people couldn't care less about, so we are back. Sometimes Pat will write (you'll be able to tell from the horrible spelling and broken English), sometimes I will write, and sometimes we'll try to mold our perverted thoughts together. I just wanted to get this initial post out there so everybody knows. FYI Kevin Ely sucks. He really does. I fucking hate that guy.
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